Not Funny
by peppymint
Summary: Eagle plays a practical joke. Cub is not amused.


_I do not own Alex Rider_

_Have been reading fic in this section for awhile_

_So, I have decided to try my hand at writing some_

**Not Funny**

Alex laughed in a rare moment of untainted delight when Wolf tumbled off the dock into the river. The look on the unit leader's face had been great. The hands that had shoved him from behind had been totally unexpected. The man came up sputtering, promptly gaining his revenge by grabbing his attacker by the ankle, yanking Fox into the water as well.

Shaking his head, the fifteen year old swam back over to the dock to join Snake. He easily tread water while the fight unfolded. "Think we should do something?" he muttered to the medic as Wolf shoved Ben's head under the water. It almost looked like the unit leader was trying to drown his teammate.

Snake considered it a moment before wrinkling his nose. "Nah," he answered. "He'll be fine." Sure enough, a moment later it was Fox who had the upper hand.

Afterwards, Alex was never quite sure what caused him to turn around. Maybe he had heard a splash of some sort? Or perhaps it was just instinct? Either way, he did. The teen's breath caught in his throat. Approaching him was a large triangular fin.

The spy didn't scream, but neither did he think. Instead, Alex lunged for the edge of the dock, grabbing a wooden paddle and bringing it down hard on where he estimated the shark's head would be. The result was somewhat unexpected.

There was a rapid stream of air bubbles, and Eagle's head broke the surface. "Ow!" he yelped, climbing back up onto the dock while clutching his head. "That hurt." He gave the groups youngest member a reproachful look.

Alex snorted, quickly regaining control of himself. "Serves you right," he commented.

The practical joker pouted. "But it was just a joke," he whined.

The teenage spy seemed unmoved as he exited the water. "Things like that aren't very funny after you've been in that situation."

The other members of k-unit stared at him, Fox and Wolf's fight quickly forgotten.

"You were attacked by a shark!" The medic's expression was unhappy. Had he been injured? Snake wondered. Discretely he examined the teenager through lowered eyelashes. Unfortunately, the wetsuit Cub was wearing concealed far too much.

Alex just shrugged. "This psycho kept a bunch of them in his pool." What was it with megalomaniacs and dangerous pets anyways?

"And you fell in?" Ben looked horrified.

"Don't be ridiculous," the spy said indignantly. "I did not fall in." A moment later his eyes lowered to the ground. "I was thrown," Alex admitted. He really needed to get over this whole being captured thing.

A piece of the dock broke off in Wolf's hand. He had been holding onto it just a little bit too hard. "You hurt?" he asked gruffly, trying to feign unconcern.

A pair of brown eyes rolled in their sockets. "No," Alex answered simply.

From the suspicious way Snake's eyes narrowed, the medic didn't believe him. In fact, the teen was starting to feel like prey, which was never a good sign. Nervously, he took a step backwards. Right into Wolf and Fox's waiting arms. Before Alex could do anything, the pair had him pinned.

"Hey!" the blond protested violently as they pulled him flat against the docks wooden planking. "Let go!"

"Sorry Cub," Wolf apologized. "But this is for your own good." It wouldn't even be necessary if the kid wasn't so secretive.

Alex tried to kick him, only to be thwarted when Eagled grabbed his legs. "I wasn't bitten." Though he had lost his belt in the struggle, and one of the guards had been eaten. Alex had been forced to use the man as a living shield. Needless to say, that scene had made it into his nightmares.

The members of k-unit did not seemed inclined to relent. Grimly, Snake grabbed the zipper of Alex's wetsuit, pulling it down. His jaw dropped as he caught sight of the teen's chest. "And just what?" he inquired in a tone of extreme displeasure. "Is that?"

"Err," the spy tried to come up with some sort of excuse. One that didn't involve being shot in the heart. None was forthcoming. Slowly, he looked from one member of k-unit to the other. "Well shit."

_Omake_

Alex was not happy, not at all. In fact, the only thing that could possibly make this worse is if . . .

"Just what!" an incredibly pissed voice shouted. "Is going on here?"

The small group froze, uncomfortably aware of the picture they presented. Four full grown men, pinning one half-clothed boy. The members of k-unit scrambled to their feet, nearly tripping over themselves as they saluted.

"Sergeant sir," Wolf barked, body ramrod straight. "This isn't what it looks like sir."

Honestly, disturbing as the thought may seem, Alex almost wished that it was. Especially when the sergeant's gaze landed on the now exposed bullet scar. The teenager nearly sighed. So much for his relaxing day.

_Finis_

_Hope you liked it, any reviews are appreciated _

_And should any of you be looking to adopt a plunnie_

_Please check out my corral, "scribbles and scratches"_


End file.
